Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
