The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
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Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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