Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
