The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
only if we run a train.
done.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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