just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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