omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
