yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
