sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
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I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
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Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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