Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
