Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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