Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
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