when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
