Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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