i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
