i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
