i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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