my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize