I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
