"it" just moved
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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