oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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