I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
