I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
