she peed on how many people?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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