Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
