We should be called the Road Head Warriors
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Randomize
