When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
