sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
