Who wears a wallet chain?!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
