32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
