She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
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