So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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