I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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