Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
