last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
