glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
