And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize