I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
