i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
