i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
