Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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