We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
