A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Randomize
