fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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