I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
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