Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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