i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I understand Curling. That high.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
