There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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