Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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