My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
