so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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