You kept calling me your small dog last night.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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