drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
