I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
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