I wish i was in the wii world.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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