I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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