i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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